thoughts

Dear person,

if by any chance, you are actually reading this and understanding every word, i have so many thoughts i want to say out loud but i shan't. and you would probably ask, "why wont you tell me?" i would answer you by mostly staring at you. curious as to why you would want to know, are you asking me because you want to act like you care? or would you tell me that you understand, give me time, to tell you what these thoughts are and tell me just not to lie to you. i used to be alone and i had my very own sanctum in my mind,at that time I can think of many things that I want, and to do’s in the future. Being alone gives me an opportunity to know myself better, to discover who I really am, and to figure out why good and bad things happen. I find it very amusing to hear the echoes of my own thoughts. I like to hear every single word what I have to say. I love hearing the sound of my own voice. Nothing's permanent, everything changes. i realized i have to be among "normal teenagers", if i didn't people would ask and question things. i decided to blend in, do what normal teenagers do. A friend told me that when someone says "Hello." you say "Hi." in reply and give them a little wave or smile. i shouldn't just stare daggers at them until they disappear, not say a word and then look away. it's weird, they'd tell me. 

Sai